AC 230: February 23, 2004 (Boston)

© 2004 Kurt Leland

I awoke about 2:20 A.M. to use the bathroom and when I returned to bed I had a strange experience similar to one that occurred a couple of nights ago. The present experience was much stronger than the first.

After I closed my eyes, I noticed a light in my head--a soft background glow. I checked to see whether it was coming from outside my window by putting my head under the covers. It was still there. I found myself wondering whether this light was what the Tibetan Buddhists call the ground luminosity of consciousness.

I decided to observe the light, to notice everything I could about it. As I paid attention to the light, it grew stronger. It began to coalesce from a uniform glow into a centralized cloud, like a slowly turning galactic nebula. At some point in this process, a pearl-like sphere of light seemed to condense from the cloud and drip from my head down into my throat. It seemed to have a sweet taste that filled me with bliss. After passing through my throat, this sweetness spread throughout the rest of my body.

I began to understand why meditators might describe this experience metaphorically as the dripping of nectar (Sanskrit, amrita). In some yoga traditions, there is supposedly an energy center at the back of the throat that distills this nectar and allows it to run down into the throat. But to me it felt as if the nectar was condensing from the cloud of light in my head. I only tasted it as sweetness when it passed from there into the rest of my body.

The experience was brief. I realized that going too deeply into it might disturb my sleep, since the nectar’s sweetness felt as if it could easily expand from bliss into an ecstasy that would keep me awake for the rest of the night. I only allowed three drops of it to pass down my throat. I wasn’t scared of the experience. I simply acknowledged it as a possibility to be explored at some point under other conditions.

I’ll have to see whether I can recreate this experience during the day, while meditating or taking a nap. It certainly seems to be worth exploring, especially since it seems to be revealing itself to me rather than appearing as a result of any kind of seeking on my part.

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